Star Wars

> I love Star Wars!! I don't really like the prequels or The Last Jedi or really consider them canon. I also like a lot of the Legends stuff, like the Ewok Adventures movies or Galaxy of Fear.

my star wars tag



Boba Fett, raised as a son by Jango Fett, one of the most infamous bounty hunters the galaxy had seen - both descended from a being so unstoppable even the sith were afraid of his power... Wobbuffet...







i said i’m going n o w h e r e.


Jedi knight, standing out in the middle of a torrential downpour like a complete dumbass: So, it’s come to this.

Sith lord, likewise getting absolutely soaking wet: We always knew it would end this way.

Both: *activate their lightsabers, and are immediately enveloped in impenetrable clouds of steam*









Say what you will about the Ewoks but they’re the only people in the galaxy who have handrails on their bridges and stairs.

there's a jedi in a 2003 star wars cartoon whos just shaggy. from scooby doo







bits of behind-the-scenes star wars trivia i’ve picked up over the years:








deleted scene from The Empire Strikes Back

The most unrealistic thing about Star Wars, a series of science fiction films about magic space priests, is that Padme was five years older than Anakin and didn’t once consider that maybe she could do better.

I mean, what did he have to offer aside from his many desirable qualities, like hating sand and an untamable space temper?







That little droid and I have been through a lot together.



george lucas: if you make gay stuff about my characters i'll sue you
*3 decades later*
george lucas: *sells star wars*
oscar isaac: poe is in love with finn
carrie fisher: obi-wan kenobi is bisexual
mark hamill: luke's sexuality is never addressed in the movies, also he could be trans and even if he isn't he supports trans people because all jedi do





















I am C-3PO, human-cyborg relations. And this is my counterpart, R2-D2.

Meta



Like everything great, Star Wars came within an ass-hair’s width of being total shit. The first cut of Star Wars was an incomprehensible mess, and it was up to George’s wife and editor, Marcia Lucas, to swoop in and save the day … again.
Actually, Marcia was Lucas’ “muse” through the entire production, if by “muse” you mean “person who had all the good ideas.” It was her idea to kill Obi-Wan (apparently George’s first draft had him just disappearing at one point) and demanded that Lucas keep the “For Luck” kiss scene that would snarl the series up in a knotty mess of incest once the third movie was released. But, most importantly, she’s totally responsible for the Battle of Yavin, also known as The Death Star Trench Run scene, also known as The Part at the End of the Movie Where the Good Guys Win.
The pre-Marcia version has Luke taking two full runs at the exhaust port, no appearance of ghost-Obi-Wan telling Luke to use the force, and -- worst of all -- Han scares Vader away from Luke like 45 freaking minutes before Luke takes his shot at the exhaust port, meaning that the only thing we're worried about happening in that scene is Luke missing and having to take the same shot for a goddamn third time. A pretty good rule for filmmaking is that if the biggest threat in your movie is the runtime, then the drama isn't really working.
Basically, without Marcia the movie never would've caught on as anything but another forgettable '70s schlock adventure with a better-than-normal soundtrack, but she was completely written out of Star Wars history by a messy divorce shortly after Empire Strikes Back was released.



Lando doesn’t get nearly enough credit for being this actually incredibly compassionate and empathetic person. I mean, in a lot of ways his character arc mirrors that of Luke and Leia - he’s just lost his world and his people, and he’s not sure what will happen to them or if all or even some of them will make out of Bespin alive and safe. He did his absolute best to save them, but the thing is Cloud City was his home, his world, he cared about it, he loved it, he loved his people, and now he’s lost all that. But he’s still there, focusing on what he can save, helping and offering comfort to Luke and Leia (neither of whom he actually knows), watching the life he’s built for himself go up in smoke and just letting it go, because there are people who need his help.
Lando’s the responsible one. He says it as a joke to Han, but he really is. There’s a lot more to his character than just the scoundrel. And I just love him so, so much.







Wait a second... you might be thinking: “my mother, my step-father”? Did Padmé survive and remarry Bail or what?
Carrie Fisher is amazing by totally disregarding the bullshit ending of Revenge of the Sith where Padme dies (which is a MAJOR continuity problem - seriously, all Lucas had to do was rewatch his own material so he didn’t contradict himself in the prequels, or pull a Willy Wonka maneuver and have a contest where the winners would get to read the script and check for continuity and consistency, but that didn’t happen and the result was to butcher the strong-willed, intelligent Padme we see in Episode I to an out-of-character, dumbed down barefoot-and-pregnant secret wife. The worst offense was the removal of all of her scenes from Episode III wherein she literally began the Rebellion with Bail Organa and Mon Mothma. But, I’m getting off topic.) By killing Padme, George Lucas and the ending of Episode III went and pulverized continuity like Tarkin blew up Alderaan.
*Note: I am well aware that this has been retcon’d to a rather insane degree. Doesn’t mean the initial offense doesn’t still aggravate me. Moving on here with the lore.
YES, PADME ORIGINALLY MARRIED BAIL ORGANA:

In Return of the Jedi, Leia and Luke have a conversation about “remember[ing their] mother, [her] real mother,” and Leia immediately replies that “She died when I was very young… She was very beautiful, kind, but sad.” In original interviews before making the prequels was even a notion to George Lucas, he had stated that Leia’s mother married Bail Organa shortly after giving birth and handing Luke off to Obi-Wan, and she and Leia lived with Bail on Alderaan, effectively hiding herself and her daughter from the Empire by both of them appearing to be the real parents of Princess Leia, and thus hiding both of their identities from the Empire, and especially from Darth Vader. She was smart, she survived Anakin being an abusive shit to her, she fled the dangerous situation she was in by being Anakin’s wife and the mother of his children, and she raised her daughter with Bail under the shadow of the Empire right out in the open, and encouraged Leia to become a member of the Imperial Senate. Padme was a total, defiant, and strong badass character, but here came the editing in Revenge of the Sith, and she became helpless, weak, and literally “lost the will to live” because her husband turned to the Dark Side. Are you fucking serious!? That is not Padme - she was stronger than that. She was intended to be stronger than that. Even though she never actually had a name until Episode I was released, not even in the novelizations of the original trilogy.
For Reference: If you still have a copy of the Star Wars Character Encyclopedia that was released before the prequels were made you can find all kinds of stuff like this! (I do have one of these elusive books, but not readily available, otherwise I’d be citing page numbers and shit here!) The Character Encyclopedias were revised following the release of Phantom Menace onward, to remove all contradictions found therein - I looked once in a bookstore when I was really fucking bored and had some spare time to waste.
Here are my ultimate favorite gems (i.e. the things that were changed that pissed me off the most, other than the topic of Padme, which I’ve already covered) from the original encyclopedia, the one published pre-release-of-the-prequels’ character encyclopedias:
THE BATTLE OF MUSTAFAR:
This one is a fun read. Mustafar wasn’t even a planet’s name in this encyclopedia then! Does it seem out of character to you that Obi-Wan just walks away while Anakin burns on the edge of the lava and missing three limbs and screaming in pain? Well, it actually is out of character because originally during that fight, Obi-Wan pushes/kicks Anakin from a ledge and directly into the lava! In Obi-Wan’s mind, there is no way Anakin would survive that. Obi-Wan does not leave tasks and missions unfinished, but in Revenge of the Sith, he leaves his most important mission unfinished - which is out of character and not how that battle was originally planned. So, when he determined Anakin would in no way survive falling into lava, he leaves. He still leaves too early to see the Emperor force-levitate Anakin out of the lava to safety. THAT is why Anakin needed his iron-lung suit to live - not because he barely has any natural limbs left and thus needs replacement ones, but because his entire body and lungs are burned so badly that only machines/his suit can keep him alive - which is why he dies moments after Luke takes off his mask in Return of the Jedi. Also, for Obi-Wan - who is notably a compassionate and merciful character throughout the entire saga - it would be against his entire character to leave Anakin lying there burning on the ground like that without either saving his life, or killing him so that he did not suffer. He certainly wouldn’t just simply walk away, knowing Anakin, his former student, a close friend for many years, is lying there literally on fire, and suffering in agony. It’s not in character for Obi-Wan to do this, to leave like that and in that situation. He would only leave when he was certain that Anakin had died or that he couldn’t possibly survive - like for example, after being pushed into lava. But Episode III just totally messed that up and completely screwed with both Obi-Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader, there.
WHO THE HELL IS OWEN LARS?
This changed too! I distinctly recall this being on Page 91 of my copy of the aforementioned SW Character Encyclopedia, but was later completely contradicted by the time Attack of the Clones was released.
(Even more fun factoid about this: There was a young adult book series called Jedi Apprentice, and in one of those books - I think either the third or fourth in the series - detailing Obi-Wan’s time as Qui-Gon’s apprentice [which is also a continuity problem in itself because of Obi-Wan’s line in The Empire Strikes Back when he tells Luke to go to Dagobah, “There you will learn from Yoda, a Jedi Master who instructed me,” implies that Yoda, not Qui-Gon, was Obi-Wan’s primary teacher/Master. But… *sigh* okay, this is true “from a certain point of view” I suppose, but Ben/Obi-Wan’s confusion about this makes him look like he needs some ginkgo to keep his memory in top shape! But the Yoda-should’ve-been-Obi-Wan’s-Master fuck up aside, there’s one more time George Lucas messed with Obi-Wan’s character, which I started to discuss in this paragraph but got sidetracked…and it’s this!] In those Jedi Apprentice books (the one I am referring to was published before Attack of the Clones’s release, keep in mind) Obi-Wan at one point recalls his home and his birth family, most notably recalling a younger brother. What, you say? Obi-Wan doesn’t have a younger brother. Actually, originally he did, as was confirmed in the Character Encyclopedias and EU books/novels published before the prequels were produced. That younger brother of Obi-Wan Kenobi? Owen Lars. Fun Fact: Obi-Wan’s birth name was Benjamin Lars, which is how we originally get Ben Kenobi. Yes, Obi-Wan and Owen were supposed to be blood-related brothers. Then Attack of the Clones went and fucked that all up by having Anakin and Owen be stepbrothers!
I mean, really, think about this: Do you think Obi-Wan Kenobi would be stupid enough to hide Luke with Anakin’s - excuse me, Darth Vader’s - stepbrother and not think that would be one of the first places the Emperor would look if he even suspected that either of Vader’s kids - who pose huge threats to himself as Emperor - survived!? That makes absolutely no fucking sense. Also, Obi-Wan is way smarter than not only to come up with such a shit plan but then to go through with such a shit plan. However, doing the original plan makes perfect fucking sense: Obi-Wan goes to his own brother, Owen Lars, and hides Luke there. Owen has nothing to do with and no connection to Anakin/Darth Vader, originally, so there is absolutely no reason for the Empire, the Emperor, OR Darth Vader to even give a womp rat’s ass about any of this! That’s why Luke was safe with Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru for so long - because the Empire had zero reason to give a fuck about them and their moisture farm. It also explained why Owen in the Original Star Wars (now known as A New Hope) refers to Obi-Wan as “that wizard’s just a crazy old man.” He does not like Obi-Wan. He thinks Jedi powers are akin to wizardry. He uses negative language about Obi-Wan - perhaps because he knows that his family was put in potential danger the moment Obi-Wan asked them to take Luke in. But more importantly, Owen - by repeatedly dismissing Obi-Wan as a reclusive crazy wizard - is deliberately trying to instill in Luke to also dismiss “Old Ben” as someone with whom Luke should not want to associate! Also, in the early encyclopedias, it is mentioned that Luke had encountered Obi-Wan once before his meeting him during the events of the first (A New Hope) film as a teenager, when he crashed his T-16 craft (you know the one we see him playing with in the equivalent of the family shed/garage?) and Obi-Wan rescued him and brought him back to Owen, where he tried to give Luke his father’s lightsaber at that moment…but Owen chased him from the property. THIS is why Owen repeatedly tries to dissuade Luke from going to the Academy. Not because he’s overbearing or a dick of a foster father/uncle… but because he is well aware that once Luke leaves the farm, Owen can’t protect him from his “crazy wizard” brother who Owen believes will shove Luke headfirst toward’s Anakin’s fate. None of this makes sense with Owen being a step-brother to Anakin that he meets once. But it certainly makes a hell of a lot of sense if Owen is Obi-Wan’s brother, knowing full-well what the Force is, how it works, how Jedi training separates families like his own, etc. Owen and Ben even look alike! But… then Attack of the Clones happened


The parallels between Finn and Kylo Ren are the most direct (and stark) in terms of toxic masculinity. Finn seems to reject this toxicity, whereas Kylo Ren is constantly hung up on performing and proving himself strong enough. They are opposites: especially evidenced by the way they treat Rey – how they define themselves against the chief female presence of the movie.
Like Finn, Kylo Ren is also interested in and impressed by Rey. (And he also first meets her when she attacks him.) But instead of treating Rey like a person, Kylo acts out of aggression, objectification, and self-centeredness. He immediately immobilizes her, Force-faints her, and then carries her, bridal-style, to his ship: old-fashioned, exploitative, and gross. His language towards her is incredibly patronizing: “So this is the girl I’ve heard so much about…” He proceeds to insult her friends and threaten and torture her: violating her mind, using her as a tool but also relishing the show of his own power and the taking of something personal by force. “I can take what I want” is simultaneously a threat, a statement of power/entitlement, and a declaration of how Kylo fundamentally views Rey: an object, something controllable to serve his purposes. When the tables turn and Rey reads him, he is incredibly shaken by the subversion of his own authority and control, and when she escapes, he storms around looking for her in a blind rage, pursuing her with a weapon. Even as she’s beating him in the ensuing lightsaber battle, he has the gall to mansplain her own power to her: “YOU NEED A TEACHER!”
Unlike Kylo Ren, Finn uses Rey’s name throughout the movie. Kylo never calls her anything but “the girl” or “the scavenger,” even when addressing her. While Finn helps others without question, is vulnerable, and demonstrates affection, humor, feelings, and honesty, Kylo Ren is the opposite – all about projecting his own power and lashing out. He takes himself and his image incredibly seriously, valuing himself over others and their goals, treating underlings callously and with violence. Meanwhile, Finn accepts BB-8 as something deserving of his respect and speaks to the droid like a person.
While Finn easily cooperates with those around him, Kylo competes and chokes and throws tantrums, exchanging insults with Hux and belittling him at every opportunity, locked in a power struggle even with his allies. As Finn resists hurting the innocent and then straight-up defects over this, Kylo Ren is the one who orders their murders and then tortures his captives. Where Finn removes, and then ditches, his helmet at the first opportunity, Kylo Ren clings to his completely unnecessary, fabricated mask — a face that is not his own, versus Finn’s sincerity. It’s a powerful metaphor, putting on another face to become something else, to assume power. To disguise one’s true nature. The dark side, like gender, is performative — and the mask, in this case, is literal.


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